What If The Audience Is Rude?

Just how rude can the audience be?

You’re written a good presentation, developed slides which were visual and colourful.

You’ve rehearsed, standing up, using gestures, making sure your voice was loud and clear. Your nerves were under control.

But then, as you deliver your presentation …

That person over there focuses instead on their laptop, perhaps checking email.

It’s not hard to tell that person over there is sending a personal text message.

Someone else is staring out the window. Another gets up to use the restroom.

Two in the back are having a side conversation, whispering and giggling. A person in the front doodles in their notes.

Most strange, someone at the front simply sits there, staring at you. You aren’t even sure they’re alive.

Rude! Just plain rude!

When you tried to engage them – perhaps with a question, perhaps you called out their name – you get generic, one-word answers.

Worst of all, that silent one in the front still doesn’t move.

Is it Disruptive, or Something Else?

In every presentation skills workshop I’ve delivered, participants offer all sorts of examples how an audience is disruptive.

Multi-tasking. Not paying attention. Zero engagement.

Last week, one woman put it most succinctly. What if the audience is rude?

What is Rudeness? And Who's the Judge?

A basic definition of rudeness is discourteous or impolite behaviour, usually deliberate.

More so, it’s subjective. It’s a judgment by one person of another’s behaviour.

Is an audience member’s behaviour rude to you? Yes, probably. But is it rude to them? To others? Perhaps – but here’s where you need to be careful.

The key word in the definition is deliberate.

How do you know it’s deliberate?

Let’s be honest. What’s rude to you may not be rude to them. Their behaviour – to them – could very much be normal, and certainly not deliberate.

So what do you so? Glad you asked.

Here's How to Handle "Rudeness"

Don't automatically assume it's an issue of rudeness.

First, you’ve automatically put yourself into a negative mindset by assuming it’s their intention to be rude. That’s never going to be helpful.

Bless: it’s also a judgement call. There’s a possibility you’re assuming something, potentially false, about the people in front of you. That’s also not going to be helpful.

“But they yawned at me!” one person said. As someone who’s presented for nearly 40 years, a yawn, a sneeze, a nose scratch, crossed arms may be an automatic physical response.

Start by being objective, or at least neutral. Consider there may be something else going on, which is not necessarily negative toward you.

People listen and engage in different ways.

Some people fidget, move or doodle. Others – like the one staring at you – are passive, almost lifeless.

Their outward behaviour does not mean they aren’t taking in your information. As an audience member, I’ve often just sat still and watched the presenter. I’ve had others tell me they close their eyes, or look out the window, to focus on what’s being said.

In fact, some audience members find it very difficult simply to sit still, to do nothing. Whether they know it consciously or not, these people need to multi-task as a way to engage or concentrate. (They’re kinaesthetic learning.)

According to research conducted by Jackie Andrade at the School of Psychology, University of Plymouth (UK), doodling – as one example – may significantly help people remember information and focus the mind.

Other research shows other people take notes as a way to keep them centred on the conversation.

I had a woman in a workshop who keep fiddling with her mobile/cell phone. At the break, when I gently asked what she was working on, she showed me she was using her phone to take notes so she could send them to her team back at the office.

I had to ask myself: why was I taking the audience’s behaviour personally?

Many people nowadays can effectively multi-task.

Can they really be engaged if they’re writing e-mails or sending text messages?

I hate conversations pitting one generation against another. But at the same time, someone once told me my generation (I was born in 1962) is the last generation to have one foot in the old world of communications and one foot in the new world of high technology.

Not so with younger audiences who have grown up with devices in their hands. (I recently had to explain to my daughter why cursive was necessary.)

Way back in 2010, Earl Miller, professor of neuroscience at MIT who studies multi-tasking, said the younger generation will have better skills as the human brain naturally evolves to new situations. Another report, in 2019 from Florida Atlantic University researchers in the Charles E. Schmidt College of Science, found ‘millennials’ have an ability to switch their attention more efficiently than older generations.

I learnt this the wrong way. Recently I had a person in the back of the classroom intently watching his laptop. He didn’t realise that the windows behind him were essentially a mirror. I could see he was watching the film Deadpool. Irked, I thought: ‘I’ll get him with a tough question to teach him a lesson in front of the entire class.’

But, when I asked my snotty question, I was the one who learnt the lesson. Without looking up from his screen, he answered my questions with a perfectly formed and articulate answer.

Again! Why was I upset that he wasn’t actively riveted to my every word? Why was I making myself the most important person in the conversation?

(Let me be exact: In Communications, you are always the least important person in every conversation.)

Yes, some behaviour is disruptive. Get ahead of it.

Of course there are times when someone is being rude or disruptive. As Louis Pondy said, Prevention is best.

First, set boundaries at the beginning.

If it’s a long presentation, perhaps an all-day workshop, I tell people in my introduction what I expect.

Sending text messages or emails is OK as long as they’re discrete.
By all means, go to the bathroom whenever you want, but do it quietly.
Same with phone calls. Leave the room and come back quietly.
I also tell people that if they feel like they’re missed something when they’ve been out of the room, come talk to me at a break so I can get them up-to-speed. (It’s also a simple way to figure out who is genuinely interested and who isn’t. By and large, almost everyone who steps out finds me at the break.)

IF you use slide-based software like PowerPoint or Canva, see the related suggestions far below.

Finally, the only time I’m going to directly address the problem is when I can see that one person’s “rudeness” is interfering with another person’s attention.

For example, side conversations are not just distracting to you, but to the group. First, ask if they’re discussing something which may be interesting the group. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it’s not, but by calling it out – even with a bit of humour – can smooth the situation.

The same is true of people who are surfing the net or engaging in an activity not associated with the meeting. Tell them it’s not acceptable at the beginning.

And yes, sometimes you’ll need to be firm.

One participant spent the entire morning working on a spreadsheet which had zero to do with the topic. At the break, I gently said she must be very busy to have to work on work at a training session. She apologised and said she wasn’t listening, couldn’t listen, and she asked if she could leave and return to the office.

“Yes, of course,” I said. “But, you won’t get your accreditation if you leave early.” The look on her face told me everything. “You can absolutely stay, but I need you to focus on the topic.” The laptop was closed when we returned from break.

Perhaps the best advice is to ignore it.

Like that yawn.

Like the crossed arms.

As my Nana Eklund often said, why are you trying to create a forest fire?

Because, in the end, you only have two duties as a presenter, facilitator or instructor.

At the proverbial end of the day, audience members ultimately only want two things from you.

Be relevant. Don’t waste their time. Talk about what they want.
Be enthusiastic. If you’re not interested in your own topic, your audience never will be. No audience will ever work harder than you.

Some questions given to me at the start of my career:

Look at your content. Is it about you, or is it about the audience?

Is the overall tone “me-me-me”, or are you offering the audience explicit and specific actions?

Are your messages written from your perspective, or from the point-of-view of the audience?

Where’s the objective of your presentation in the document itself? Near the front, or near the back? Some people don’t know how to listen until they know what they’re listening to, and why? That can cause people to fidget or lose focus.

If the answers to these questions put the focus on you instead of the audience, then you aren’t being engaging.

Who’s the one being rude now?

If you use slide-based software ...?

If you use PowerPoint, Keynote or any slide-based software, consider these points.

Many people in a ‘long’ meeting mentally leave the room even though their body remains behind. Perhaps they’re thinking about that important task that isn’t getting done. Maybe they’re asking themselves if they left the iron on at home.

For whatever reason, when they ‘jump’ back into the room, they will not know where the group conversation is. They’ll be frozen for a second to re-join the group.

When they try to re-connect with the group, the first place they look to understand the conversation is your slide title. It needs to be precise, specific and accurate. If the title if vague – “Situation Analysis” – it’ll take them longer to re-group.

Any other tips on handling audiences’ behaviour? Please add your thoughts and comments below.