It’s hard to be assertive. It’s even more hard when you have to say NO assertively.
NO.
Is there a more difficult word in the English language?
It’s difficult to hear. Often just as hard to say – especially when you need to say it to a person you like.
It creates feelings of guilt or rudeness, to the point many of us apologise for saying NO when – frankly – it’s often the healthiest option.
Or, in reverse, if one says yes but doesn’t really mean it, the same word can make people feel anxious, frustrated or angry.
But, more often than not, it’s a necessary word.
That’s the purpose of this article.
Learn to say it, and more so, learn how to say it in the most assertive way possible.
This wonderful article from the American Management Association in 2020 is on its website in full, but here are the nine key points.
1. Know what you want to do – and what you can do.
2. Say “no” firmly and calmly.
3. Use the word “no” as the first word of your response.
4. Give a brief, clear reason for the refusal.
5. Avoid long excuses or justifications.
6. Suggest an alternative for satisfying the request.
7. Boycott the words, “I’m sorry.”
8. Be consistent in words, voice and body language.
9. Reinforce the “no” message through eye contact.
Any other advice on saying NO assertively? Please add your thoughts and comments below.
Two more things …
- An excellent post: Six Effective Tips to Politely Say No by Vanessa Van Edwards
- One of my own posts in a similar vein: The Different Types of NO
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