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How to Say No Assertively

Is there a more difficult word in the English language than NO? It’s a difficult word to hear, and just as hard to say to others.

It creates feelings of guilt or rudeness, to point that many of us apologise for saying NO when it frankly might be the healthiest option.

Or, in reverse, if one says yes but doesn’t really mean it, the same word can make people feel anxious, frustrated or angry.

This fantastic article from the American Management Association in 2020 is on its website in full, but here are the nine key points.

1. Know what you want to do—and what you can do.

2. Say “no” firmly and calmly. 

3. Use the word “no” as the first word of your response.  

4. Give a brief, clear reason for the refusal.

5. Avoid long excuses or justifications.

6. Suggest an alternative for satisfying the request.

7. Boycott the words, “I’m sorry.”

8. Be consistent in words, voice and body language.

9. Reinforce the “no” message through eye contact.

Any other advice on saying NO assertively?  Please add your thoughts and comments below.

Two more things …

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