So much of presentation skills focuses on the messages and its delivery (rightly so), but it’s never a bad idea to remind ourselves of the easy-to-make errors in body language as part of non-verbal communications.
That said, my suggestions are generally reflective of “the West” and not always relevant when communicating with someone from non-Western cultures. In fact, some of the more positive body language techniques for Asian countries may be different for non-Asian countries, such as direct eye contact is considered rude or aggressive, but a constant unyielding smile is a sign of politeness and respect.
The nuances in culture differences could fill a book, and indeed, the definitive guide on understanding how to do business in other cultures is Kiss, Bow, or Shake Hands.
Also, as an overall approach, you may also check out which summarises Albert Mehrabian’s well-known research.
Common Body Language Mistakes
Poor posture
How we feel affects how we stand, and a lack of confidence will show in your stance. You must:
- Stand tall
- Head up
- Shoulders square: both should be seen equally by the audience (don’t stand at a diagonal)
- Chest comfortable
- Legs slightly apart, with your weight evenly distributed
Standing tall chemically tells the brain you are strong and confident. It gives the outward appearance of credibility, strength, and vitality. Anything else, most of all slumping, gives the impression of insecurity, laziness, and uncomfortableness.
Fidgeting and ‘big’ hand movements
Successful people in business tend to be subtle in their body movements, particularly their gestures. They don’t need to ‘go big’ to impress or make a point of their authority. They also remain relaxed, without nervous fidgeting. People who ‘go large’ – with big arm movements, touching their hair, lots of floor walking – give their impression they’re trying too hard, a general lack of confidence, perhaps even a bit of ‘out of control.’ Consider doing less to make a point rather than too much.
No physical feedback
Some people are simply a human sphinx. There is no reaction: a lack of nodding, no facial gestures (a raised eyebrow or a smile), no sound (not even ‘uh-huh’), a lack of leaning forward. Zero reaction makes the other party uncomfortable, sending signals that they’re trying to be intimidating or all-powerful. And, what’s the point? Good executives don’t need to manipulate. Poor ones do, mostly because they’re emotionally and/or intellectually insecure.
Empathy is one of the most important aspects of communications. Find ways to engage physically to reinforce your desire for rapport and trust.
No eye contact
As mentioned at the beginning, eye contact is one of those aspects with culture references. Now, that said, as the world becomes more fluid, people communicate more often with others who are not their same culture, respective and respectful eye contact is becoming slightly more universal.
The ability to look openly at the other party influences every other aspect of positive communication. It projects authority, confidence, presence and empathy all at the same time. We’re talking about staring or unwavering eye contact. Above all else, it should be genuine and comfortable, a sign of how you’d like to be treated as well.
A bad handshake
In the right culture, the ideal handshake for both men and women in business should be firm but not overbearing. The secret to a good handshake is:
- Palm to palm contact
- Sliding into the other’s hand until firm
- Lock thumbs
- Equal pressure
Mismatching verbal and nonverbal messages
This is where into Verbal vs. Nonverbal Communications comes to the fore. Any action or reaction that is out-of-sync with the rest of the body says you are not truthful, trustworthy, comfortable or persuasive. For example: “I’m so happy to be here” vs a sweaty palm, trembling voice, crossed arms does not suggest credibility or reliability. More often than not, it suggests you don’t know what you’re going, or worst of all, that you’re passive aggressive.
A lack of a smile
Smiling demonstrates empathy, confidence, openness and positive energy. It’s often like a yawn: it usually stimulates the other party to smile back. A person who doesn’t (or refuses) to smile sets off alarm bells: negativity, harshness, aloofness. No one wants to work with a person who acts like this. It’s more akin to be a petulant child. The opposite – and equally ineffective technique – is the person with a permanent grin. All that says is “Hi, I’m insincere,” or “I’m a liar” or worse, both.
Eye rolling
Anyone who’s ever spoken to an angry teenager knows this technique. Eye-rolling can convey so much negativity with so little muscle response. Take your pick: hatred, contempt, anger, frustration, annoyance, exasperation. It can also be a bad habit or an unconscious reaction. For many people, they may not even know they’re doing it. If you aren’t sure, ask a trusted colleague at work who can give you some candid constructive advice.
Crossed arms and hidden hands
Sure, we all get cold, or we just fold our arms unconsciously over the torso for comfort. To avoid the other party taking away negative assumptions, say so when you can get a whiff the other party notices you doing it. More so, hidden hands make you look untrustworthy. Keep them out, if for no other reason, you need your hands to make gestures.
Any other body language errors you’d suggest? Or, any thoughts on adapting these suggestions to other cultures? Please add your thoughts and comments below.
1 Comment
Thank you for sending this to me. I found it most interesting.