In almost every one of my business classes, we talk about the difficulties of managing a successful business. One aspect seems to be more difficult – or at least dreaded – than the others: giving and receiving feedback to team members.
Case in point. A few months ago, a client I was coaching came to her meeting a bit watery-eyed. She arrived from her annual performance review and said something many of us have experienced.
“Joe said he was giving me feedback,” she said. “But all I heard was criticism.”
I felt for my client. It can be very hard to listen to criticism, especially if you weren’t consulted or prepared, even more so if the comments feel judgmental, aggressive, or worst of all, unsolicited.
At the same time, I felt for her supervisor. Believe it or not, it’s also hard for the person delivering the feedback. Good managers find it’s a delicate balancing act managing what you want to say, finding the proper tone, being empathic but firm, and using positive non-verbal communication skills.
My client added something important: “It wouldn’t feel so bad if I had the upper hand.”
What I’ve learnt – because of maturity, age, experience or time … or all of them together – you always have the upper hand. It’s always your choice to decide what to do with the information, how to respond to it, and when to apply it. (That’s true of both the team leader and team member, by the way. As a former boss told me: ‘Pick and choose your arguments.’)
The good news is there are a number of steps and considerations to help prepare giving or receiving feedback in hopes the conversation is constructive and explicit – which also happen to be the two primary aspects of all good feedback.
Let’s start with a definition.
A Simple Definition of Feedback
I like this definition of feedback because it has the added benefit of including two words giving clues about the basic types of feedback.
Feedback is information offered (to someone) which aims to reinforce or change existing behaviours in order to improve performance.
To reinforce existing behaviours is the first type of feedback: motivational.
The primary purpose of motivational feedback is to build confidence and reinforce positive behaviours and attitudes. These are the skills or tasks they’re performing well.
This step is critical because you want them to know precisely what they’re doing well (with specific examples) so they can continue to deliver these behaviours in the future.
To change existing behaviours is the second type of feedback: developmental.
The primary purpose of developmental feedback is to encourage change and improvement by outlining what the person is not yet doing well, in two ways:
- Tasks and behaviours you want the team member to reconsider or stop doing, including providing alternative behaviours or solutions for both parties to brainstorm how to adapt to the person’s role or personality. Or,
- Tasks and behaviours you want them to continue building skills because they’re not yet competent. (‘Yet’ is the key word.)
In other words, feedback generally falls through three general areas:
- Here are actions the employee is doing well, specifically
- Here are actions the employee is doing that aren’t working at all, specifically
- Here are actions the employee should focus on improving their performance, specifically
If it’s not obvious, as the team leader, you should encourage the other party to come up with their own answers to these three points, as well as questions they may have for you in terms of helping them get to a higher level of performance.
Finally, notice the artwork. The Feedback Matrix very simply shows the difference between the four basic responses to one’s performance. Notice that criticism is not negative. To be clear, criticism is constructive. Negativity is destructive.
What’s your opinion of feedback and critique? What lessons have you taken away, either as the person giving the feedback or the person receiving it? Please leave your thoughts or opinions in the Comments below.
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