In a recent workshop on Managing People, my group chose to build upon an initial list of five ways a manager could boost self-esteem in their team members. In a few minutes, the list grew to 20 easy, credible actions. With their permission, I’m posting it here because it’s too good not to share.
20 Ways to Boost Someone’s Self-Esteem
- Remember and use a person’s name.
- Genuinely ask for their advice.
- Ask for their help.
- Ask for their opinion.
- Sincerely compliment them on occasion. When possible, pass along compliments from others.
- Look for one aspect of the other person you admire, and find an authentic way to tell them.
- Bring up topics for discussion – but don’t argue with them.
- Listen more than you talk.
- Use the words “I trust you” when you actually do.
- Pay attention to what the other person says, and paraphrase back so they know they’re been heard.
- Recognise them – for hard work, for a step beyond, for doing something different(ly), for tackling a challenge – perhaps even for failing if they gave it their best shot.
- Be interested in the other person. Ask them questions about something they care about or enjoy.
- Share your knowledge to help others be successful.
- Ask what you could do to help them in the future.
- Openly use and attribute their knowledge publicly to others.
- When you are wrong, admit it. And, thank them.
- Invite them into a team they normally wouldn’t be part of – even if they wouldn’t or couldn’t contribute.
- Help them discover their strengths.
- Provide opportunities for people to try new and different things.
- Be heartfelt.
We argued whether the last point should be first. Either way, the team defined “heartfelt” as the manager should be …
- Without fanfare directed at themselves
- Doing it just because they want to be nice
This list also gives me an excuse to link to a great article by Marcel Schwantes from Inc magazine: 10 Magic Phrases You Need to Say Often to Increase Trust.
What are some of the ways you’ve helped build someone’s self-esteem? Please comment below.