20 Ways to Boost Someone’s Self-Esteem

In a recent workshop on Managing People, my group chose to build upon an initial list of five ways a manager could boost self-esteem in their team members. In a few minutes, the list grew to 20 easy, credible actions. With their permission, I’m posting it here because it’s too good not to share.

20 Ways to Boost Someone’s Self-Esteem

1. Remember and use a person’s name.
2. Genuinely ask for their advice.
3. Ask for their help.
4. Ask for their opinion.
5. Sincerely compliment them on occasion. When possible, pass along compliments from others.
6. Look for one aspect of the other person you admire, and find an authentic way to tell them.
7. Bring up topics for discussion – but don’t argue with them.
8. Listen more than you talk.
9. Use the words “I trust you” when you actually do.
10. Pay attention to what the other person says, and paraphrase back so they know they’re been heard.
11. Recognise them – for hard work, for a step beyond, for doing something different(ly), for tackling a challenge – perhaps even for failing if they gave it their best shot.
12. Be interested in the other person. Ask them questions about something they care about or enjoy.
13. Share your knowledge to help others be successful.
14. Ask what you could do to help them in the future.
15. Openly use and attribute their knowledge publicly to others.
16. When you are wrong, admit it. And, thank them.
17. Invite them into a team they normally wouldn’t be part of – even if they wouldn’t or couldn’t contribute.
18. Help them discover their strengths.
19. Provide opportunities for people to try new and different things.
20. Be heartfelt.

We argued whether the last point should be first. Either way, the team defined “heartfelt” as the manager should be …

• Genuine
• Authentic
• Without fanfare directed at themselves
• Doing it just because they want to be nice

This list also gives me an excuse to link to a great article by Marcel Schwantes from Inc magazine:  10 Magic Phrases You Need to Say Often to Increase Trust.

What are some of the ways you’ve helped build someone’s self-esteem? Please comment below.