At dinner last night with some old colleagues, someone asked if the years had taught me the best secret to being a good communicator.
(To someone who wasn’t in P.R., it probably would have been a boring dinner. But I digress.)
I don’t often give away secrets for free, but lean in kids, here’s my best tip:
Be prepared.
Did I steal this tip from the Boy Scouts of America? If I did, I don’t care.
Second, so many people are disappointed by this one tip.
It’s not secret enough. Not sexy enough. Not click-bait enough. Not insightful. Needs to be an anagram or some other psychobabble marketing term.
It’s Obvious Advice that Isn’t Obvious to Most People.
You may not think it’s a secret, but I’m still amazed how many people forget this one fact, over and over.
Do your homework.
Don’t walk into a situation unawares.
Don’t start talking until you’ve read the room.
Don’t start talking until you know what the audience thinks or does now, and why.
ALL of these are variations of the same advice.
Be prepared.
So How to Prepare?
This question is one of the most common I get, either through my website or in my workshops.
At its simplest, there are six basic questions to ask yourself before you communicate in any way.
1. What are you trying to do?
What’s your objective? Make it instantly clear to your audience. If they don’t know why you’re communicating, their attention is elsewhere – which is to say, they’re not listening to you.
2. What’s the issue here?
People who agree on something, particularly in business, don’t usually spend a lot of talking to each other … because they’re no reason to talk to each other.
In almost every case, you’re probably communicating because the other person isn’t doing something to align with the objective. Address the problem or issue. Say it out loud in the most positive and constructive way possible. Most of all, don’t assume the other party understands or agrees with you. As the old motto goes, you must know what the other person thinks or believes about a specific topic before you start communicating. If you don’t know, you probably need to stop talking in sentences and start talking in questions.
3. Who is this person?
Does this person know who you are? Is there any rapport or trust between you? If not, you need to establish your credibility. This is particularly true if there are differences in hierarchy between you, such as you’re talking UP to a more senior leader. I’d also suggest you know everything you can about this person BEFORE you start talking. But if you can’t, again – stop with the sentences and start with the questions.
4. What does this person think now?
There are two basic questions. What does this person think? And why do they think that? You can replace “think” with other variations.
What does this person believe, and why do they believe that?
What does this person know, and why do they know that?
What does this person want to do, and why do they want to do that?
If you don’t know the answers to these questions, again: start asking good questions.
Final point: it’s not enough to know WHAT (which is rational), you need to also know WHY (which is emotional). See if you don’t understand the difference.
5. What are you doing to say?
Only now – after you know the objective, problem, person and mindset – can you decide what you need to communicate. And by “communicate,” I mean change their opinion, attitude or behaviour.
If you don’t know how to organise your thoughts, try this post:
6. What are you doing to do?
The final question asks you to consider putting your communication into action. How and when will you communicate? What aspects of the communication do you need to consider, such as channels, feedback circle, etc.
One other secret (that’s probably not a secret)
Get key people together as soon as possible prior to communicating. Get all of the questions on the table. Discuss and debate. Get quality information. Think about what’s there, and more so, what’s missing. Assign roles and responsibilities. Divide and conquer.
If you don’t know what some of these aspects might be, try this post:
If you want a more detailed overview of these six questions, try this post:
If you want a very detailed post on Strategic Communications Planning, try this provocatively named post: .
Feel free to add your thoughts and questions below.
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